I have had many ask me why I left the Mormon church. They ask because I have been very active in the religion; Growing up in the church, being married twice in the temple, being a Relief Society President. So who would not be curious?
I soul searched on this one, because I really am not wanting to "bash" the Mormon Church. I thought DEEP. I found the TRUE reason why. It is very simple, and here it is....
I sat on the bed rehashing what I had just read. ( Conversations With God book 1 ) I felt a feeling of complete peace. I had not felt that in years, and especially at this time in my life when I was being re-birthed from a traumatic life event/illness. I began to gain a consciousness; an understanding of My God. It changed from what I was taught to believe. It changed right at that moment. My soul was elated. It was something that deep in my heart, rang TRUE, more than any other time in my life. I then understood God to be an energy life source. An energy of Absolute Truth and Pure Love. One that I, nor anyone in human form, could fully comprehend. I began to KNOW this.
That is when I left the Mormon Church. My understanding of God changed. I no longer believed in the Joesph Smith Vision Story. I began to understand that vision, but in a completely different perspective. It was holy. It was holy to Joseph Smith. That was his vision, no one else's. However, I began to know that if I had that vision it would have been the way I, personally, would understand. God needed to be two male personages in his vision. That is what Joesph Smith understood, that is what he needed to see. I know, without a doubt, that God is not a male. He is an energy. When that view changed for me the principles, and much of the doctrine, completely STOPPED making sense to me.
Over the many years I was a Mormon, there were things that I had experienced ,that would have caused many to leave the church. I did not leave. I kept trying to live the religion. Many of the experiences were due to humans, so I look at it like this. We are all human. Human's error.
This understanding for me, has made me stronger.
It makes sense.
That is why I left the Mormon Church.
The reason is simple.
My understanding of God changed.
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Chrissy!
ReplyDeleteYour thought are as lovely as you are in person. I too believe in doing things than praying. Let me share something very beautiful that i read years back.....'' Hands that help are holier than lips that pray''. This lil quote changed my thinking too.
Now i want to believe in myself- my inner voices and i enjoy talking and hearing to these lil voices that come from my within. in my silence, in my calm and that's when i find myself writing......
Bindu
how long u did physically still participate in the church after your perception changed? how did it affect your relationship and family life? im lucky that im a convert and have never been 'trapped' in that lifestyle. im not sure how i would have coped had i been born into it, married in the temple, and children. i honestly cant say i would have had the mental strenght to deal with it. especially if i had a mormon 'legacy' within my own family. but like i said i was very lucky. i still go from time to time. i enjoy the choir. its very theraputic. and i enjoy seeing some of the people i can call a true friend. i think the only i'll ever completely stop going is when i move. which is hopefully not too far off.
ReplyDeletePlann9, I would love to answer those questions for you. I have had to deal with some repercussions for this decision, from my family, friends, and loved ones. I would love to share my perspective of this via personal email. Mine is crucker64@hotmail.com. Shoot me an email and I will further answer your questions. Much love to you<3
ReplyDeleteI was a convert and WAS "trapped" in that lifestyle because I married a die hard Mormon. I realized early on (after my marriage, though my first doubts began beforehand) that I didn't truly believe in this church and that I was sucked in by the well meaning members who were so kind to me. As you know, being LDS is more than a Sunday thing, it's an entire lifestyle. So basically my life was a lie for years.
ReplyDeleteIt was a great relief to me when I finally broke free.
Thank you so much for sharing this experience with us, Chrissy! I love you <3
ReplyDelete(This is Theresa, btw! lol)
I love you more Theresa! I know what you mean. I was one of those kind people. I was one of those that sucked people in, but that was not my true intention, at the time. It really was what I felt would help others. I know about how you feel, that part of your life was a lie. I find comfort in now knowing that it was not a lie, at the time, it was a experience. When my perception changed to what I know now, I look at that time as an experience and one that just allows me to trust ME from within. This I KNOW, and it feels sooo good! Much love to you <3
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