Family Haters

This writing is, what some may perceive as "airing dirty laundry", however I perceive it as being transparent.

I found out who, in my family, the one I grew up in, really thinks of me. I am going to post what was posted on a social networking site, that we all are familiar with as Facebook. I want all to understand what happened and how it was dealt with, but also to perhaps understand, that it was an experience that helped me realize who this person is. Who I had to CUT.

It all began with a text. I woke up and there was a text from my Mom. It read : "My heart hurts". I did not get that text until I woke up the next morning. It was sent to me while I was sleeping. My first thought was, " I hope she is not having a heart attack!" But then, I know my Mom and realized someone must have hurt her. So I texted her back, kinda knowing she would not be up yet and I responded with "Why is your heart hurting? Who hurt you? " I did not hear from her. So I got on Facebook and checked out her site. She posted:

Jacqueline Corey's status
Jacqueline wrote: Being a Mom can be so painful.

I made a comment and it was this:
Chris Peterson Rucker commented on Jacqueline Corey's status.
Chris wrote: Only if you let it...You have done the best you can and that truly is all that is required and matters...if some can not see it...well fuck them...that is my philosophy and it has worked for me. Whatever happened to not "participating" ??? Do I have to send that lil note back to you??? Love you Mom...I am here for you...Now buck up and let it roll off ...That is what I do and trust me...It works wonders...LOVE YOU...Do you feel that??? GOOD ...because that is all that matters... :) <3

A few hours later here are the things that began a war with my brother-in-law/and sister, my Mom, and me.

Here is the comment made after my comment:

Eric Calaway commented on Jacqueline Corey's status.
Eric wrote: "You know Chris there are alot of young kids that have Jacqueline as a friend, and read her posting. Please show some self control and respect for others and control your language, And show some respect to your mother I know she dosent appreciate it at all."

This is when the "war" began:


Jacqueline Corey commented on her status.
Jacqueline wrote: "Thank you, Eric. I know and love Chris as she is. The language goes with it. I have learned to speak for myself and I feel she is more controlled that ever. No I did not take down your post, but if I could, I would send both of you to your room until you can hug and say "I'm sorry!""


Eric Calaway commented on Jacqueline Corey's status.
Eric wrote: "I'm not sorry! You are due more respect than what is given by her comment as we all are. She could have used better words than that. I believe that she knows better than that. After all you never used that type of language!. She can do what she wants but she should show respect for others. She demands respect from others she should also give it. I know when she sees this she will be offended and upset. The same offence that everybody else had by her langauge.. If this causes a big problem so be it. You have to take a stand for whats right or just keep getting run over, My children have enough thrown at them by evil I dont really want them to go to their grandmothers facebook and see that type of language from their aunt. And by turning your head to it you are accepting it.. There was a talk by Dallen H Oaks that talks about this in general conference, He said that your standards should not be bent for children or anyone that impose their low standard or way of living. Basically stand for whats right. We can learn from the example of sodom and gamorah. We must hold strong to our standards.. I will not let R rated movies in my home, Why would I accept this type of language in my home thru your facebook! and I will not stand by and say that is" just her". If she is offended so be it... The scriptures teach us that the guilty taketh the truth to be hard for it cutith them to the very center.. She knows right from wrong, she knows it not right, we should not and can not turn a blind eye to it.. If this continues I will have to defriend you from mine and my childrens facebook. There is a battle going on we must fight to the bitter end. I know that you love chris and I understand I have a son that has choosen a path that isnt right, I will not accept it and not allow it in my home, and it is painfull. The more you let things pass and are accepting of them the more they become a part of you. Look at Lots wife!! I will not accept it Im hit with enough evil all day I dont need it in my home also.. If you asked all of your other children Im sure they feel the same way they are just not bold enough to say... It dosnt mean that I dont care for Chris, she is a child of God and He loves her. But I have a stewardship that has to be taken seriously... I will controll what I can and pray for help on the other... We love you dont take any of this wrong. As President Hinkley said you must stand for something... And just standing by is not standing for something.."


YES, this was all on her Wall, so all could see....continued

Jacqueline Corey commented on her status.
Jacqueline wrote: "From the strict interpretation of the law, you are absolutely correct. Nevertheless, in the parable of the prodigal son the prodigal was accepted back without judgement, without reprimand, the ring of his priesthood was restored and a feast was held in his honor - rejoicing! The other son was surly, selfish and self righteous. He had been living with the father and had received all that the father had. He was guilty of the sin of lovelessness. He could have said, "Oh, that brother of mine. I'm so glad to see him back." Yes, I realize the prodigal son was returning to righteousness, and Chris is not returning... yet. Nevertheless, we can be assured that the fatherof the two sons, who represents Elohim or Jehovah, stood watching at the window, and when he saw the familiar shape of his body and steps of his walk, he ran to meet him with his arms outstretched and embraced him. And the son said, "I'm not worthy. Let me be thy servant." When the parable ends, the judgemental, Pharisaical son refused to attend the father's feast - a chair at the Celestial table. The parable should be called the parable of the loving father, and that is who I am trying to emulate. In the 12th Chapter of I Corinthians, Paul says, "I will now show you a more excellent way." He then gives Chaper 13 of I Corinthians which is on charity (love). Eric, we both want the same thing, I want Chris to return to full fellowship, you want Austin to do the same. Which path is correct - the Pharisees' path or "the more excellent way"?"

Eric Calaway commented on your status.
Eric wrote: "Jacquiline, your interpretation of this parable is off... Are you comparing me to the surly son? I believe the more excellent way is standing up for your values. My point is I have a stewardship over my family, I don't want my children going to facebook and on your site seeing language like what was posted. By you allowing it is giving license to such behavior. That is my point..."

He/she had NO IDEA what point they just made. This is when the emailing began. Here is my response to all this, and the "wonderful" responses that came back.

Chris Peterson Rucker February 28 at 6:19pm
Eric,
I am sorry that you chose to be offended by my comment to my mom. That was not my intention. I was amazed, shocked, and totally disappointed in how you responded. There are ways that are more loving and more accepting, and of course less judgmental than what you responded, and in the way you did it.
I do demand respect, but not in the same way as you choose too. This is very obvious in the way you responded on my mom's site. It shows me and others how judgmental you are, by the way you need to express what you feel in a demeaning way...yelling for respect but yet showing it in a disrespectful way is confusing to me. I hope you feel better. I hope that this has brought you peace.
To me it has only brought pain and hurt. This is not what I am about. If you do not wish to see any of my comments on mutual friends sites, control it...block me. Simple. It will not offend me one bit. It proves to me again and again, that the judging is there, and that you hide behind religion in doing so. This is saddening. You have to quote apostles and prophets to express how you choose to be... where did "being who you really are" come into play? I do not need a religion or quotes from men to be who I really am... It is no wonder you have had problems with your children and there will be more issues, trust me on this. So Eric....If you can not handle the heat...get out of the kitchen...block me... In the meantime, you are not my friend for a reason. So respect that, and when you have a comment on a mutual friends page where you just have to "Stand up" for what you feel is right, have some respect in not airing it all over FB so that YOU can feel better. It is pitiful, and just shows your hate rather than concern, love, and acceptance. I will not tip toe around you so that you can feel comfortable with the comments I make on facebook. So get over it dude... get the fuck over it and grow the fuck up and stop hiding behind religion to make your points with me, because it really does not matter to me...not one single bit...
Much love to you Eric, and your family...

The relative you just fucked up the ass....

Chris

P.S. next time you feel that you feel the need to call me to repentance and you feel that you want to STAND UP for what you believe, maybe you could just call me and tell me...I really do not expect you to take me up on that offer, because to be honest, I feel you do not have the balls to do it...so if you grow some balls anytime soon, call me and we can discuss what really is your issue with me, and to be honest I do not feel it is just because of the word FUCK!!! LOL



Eric Calaway February 28 at 7:08pm Report
Chris,
First of all I wasn't offended by your comment to your mother. And I didn't call you to repentance, all I did was tell your mom to not let your post with foul langauge on her facebook site. You can do what you want I really don't care thats up to you. You have the freedom to choose and act anyway you want. That doesn't mean that the rest of the world has to sit back and tolorate it. I was just letting your mother know that there are children that have access to her page and she needs to (and you) need to keep it clean. You seem to love to push people around with your behavior and if anybody challenges you, you get offended. Whether you believe it or not there is a scripture that defines this ( the guilty taketh the truth to be hard for it cutith them to the very center.) You can act anyway you want it's your right. But have the decency to respect others.. Like your Mother, she has standards and beliefs and you spit in her face by your disrespect to her by your comments. Of course you know that don't you. I believe that you are very smart and you know what you're doing... See I notice that you used alot of bad language at the end of your post just to spite me. It doesn't bother me I use to own a trucking company and I'm use to that kind of nonsence. Its to bad that your offended by the post between me and your mother it really had nothing to do with you. I know that you can't help your language or can you?? And as far as having problems with my kids. Thank you. Thats why I don't approve of your post to your mother, The last thing I want my children to do is to think that just because their aunt chris can use that type of language that they can too. Thank you for helping me there... And if you want to talk to me call me my number is ( deleted the number for privacy sake...do not want anyone calling him after they read this...lol XXXXXXXXXX) I would love to talk to you... I dont have your number.

I was so done after this. I do not want people like this in my life, family or not. So I responded, and really thought it would end. It didn't you will see.

Chris Peterson Rucker March 1 at 5:09am
If you want my number bad enough...you will find it... I have nothing to say to you Eric...what happened yesterday shows me "who you really are" and make no mistake, people like you are NOT the ones I have in my life now... Take care


Eric Calaway March 2 at 9:27am Report
HI


Eric Calaway March 2 at 9:28am Report
Hope your having a great day....

I KNOW crazy huh? Well this is when I ended it. I responded with this last email and then blocked him and reported him to Facebook as harassing me. He just could not do it himself. I will not be treated this way period, the end.

Chris Peterson Rucker March 2 at 4:59pm
WTF? You are relentless. Do me a favor....READ THIS CLOSELY....

Make no mistake, people like YOU are NOT the ones I have in my life now...

Plain and simple...FUCK OFF!!!!

It is all quiet now. Have not heard a peep from him/her. I helped them out with that. They could not do it on their own.

The ultimately sad part about this though is that even though my Mom "stood up" for me. She did not "really" stand up for me. It was not genuine. So I had to cut her and my step father out of my life also. The peace has come, but a lesson has been learned.

So my point in sharing this is this. I have learned over the years, and trust me it has not been easy, that it is ok to CUT those that spitefully use you to make themselves feel better than someone. It is ok to let it go and not have people in your life that cause unnecessary drama, even if it is family. It is "who you really are" and how you are truly "being" that matters. If others can not see nor understand, that you are being true to yourself, and also allowing others to do the same, that truly is their issue and no one else's even if they may feel differently, and even if they are family. It truly is a choice. We all make them. What choice will you make? What is your next "act" going to be on the "stage" we call life? I am not sure about my next "act", but I will tell you this....it will be an adventure, and one that I look forward too.

Much love to all, and may you be strong and believe in yourself, because that truly is all that matters.