When my life changed.

Then it happened. I hit bottom. I just could not live like I was for the past 3 years. I was living for "someone else" and now this "someone else" was gone for good. I had to figure out who I was. I had lost my identity in those 3 years. I had lived for someone else and had absolutely no clue as to who or what I was. That is when I hit bottom. I hit hard. I did not want to live anymore. I was so scared. The anxiety attacks were constant, all day long. These were full blown attacks at least 5 to 6 times a day; yet I still worked. Working on the edge emotionally and physically. I could not sleep, eat, or seem to have peace inside of me. My body reacted and I lost weight at a rapid speed. I was losing the weight, and then I lost it my mind.

I went to the hospital. I had to do something because I just could not live anymore. I have wonderful children and grand children yet I received no happiness or joy from them or there presence. I just wanted to be in my home, by myself. I was scared to go grocery shopping. I was just plain scared.

Then the climb back. The wonderful feeling of worth. I remember so well, when I was in the throws of this hell, how I thought things would never change and that I would always feel so gloomy, scared, anxious, and depressed. How wrong I was. How wrong.

I struggled through this time in my life. I had no clue how it was to turn out. Things began to change. I found my spiritual purpose. I found who I was. I was re birthed. It was the most wonderful time of my life.

I found, as the saying goes, "What does not kill you makes you stronger!", is absolutely TRUE. This could have killed me, but I would not let it. It has made me a stronger woman. I know my worth. I know my higher power. I now have a wonderful relationship with someone that I have been looking for all my life. If I had not gone through what I did 3 years ago I would NEVER fully appreciate what my life has progressed to. I would not have set an example to my children and grand children about depression and how it can be helped. It can be recovered from. It can be a re birthing of someone that has been sorely missed for a long time.... YOU with YOU.